Hostirad (hostirad) wrote,

Peter Pan

My mother took me to see a production of Peter Pan when I was about 7 or 8. After seeing the play, the concept of never growing up struck me as a supremely worthwhile goal to pursue. I figured that if I really, really wanted to never grow up, my will alone would make this possible. And for years, it seemed like I was successfully achieving this goal. While my body changed, my essential boyishness never did.

Well, decades went by, and I wondered if it was not inevitable that at some point I would be forced, against my will, to make a quantum leap into adulthood, to become a qualitatively different person, a fuddy-duddy.

It never happened. I look around me, and I am surrounded by grownups, but I am not one of them. I look in a mirror and see clear signs of physical aging (particularly rapid the past few years raising teenagers) which allows me to blend in and be mistaken for an adult. But those appearances are totally misleading.

I hope no grownups are reading this, lest my secret be revealed.

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