Hostirad (hostirad) wrote,

Mixed bad/good karma

They say things happen in threes. First it was the event so wretchedly awful that I can't write about it in LJ. Then, probably partly as a reaction to the first event, I end up in the hospital twice. Third, on Saturday we had to euthanize our oldest cat, Joey. He would have been 18 in May. We've been keeping him alive for over a year by daily administrations of appetite stimulants and thyroid medication and every-other-day administration of subcutaneous fluids. The death was truly sad, yet at the same time there is good in it. He lived long enough, and he doesn't have to suffer any more.

At my funeral I want the following passage behind the lj cut to be read. (This doesn't mean I'm planning to go soon. I just hope I am as ready to go as Joey was when it is my time.)

I am tired of tears and laughter,
And men that laugh and weep,
Of what may came hereafter
For men that sow to reap:
I am weary of days and hours,
Blown buds of barren flowers,
Desires and dreams and powers
And everything but sleep.

From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no man lives for ever;
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea.

Then star nor sun shall waken,
Nor any change of light;
Nor sound of waters shaken,
Nor any sound or sight;
Nor wintry nor vernal,
Nor days, nor things diurnal;
Only the sleep eternal
In an eternal night.
from The Garden of Proserpine - Algernon Charles Swinburne

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