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Worst possible instant karma

kent1 and I have often talked about "instant karma" in which an omniscient but impersonal force seems to punish us for misbehaving, not in the next incarnation but within five minutes or so of the misbehavior.

But I think I have discovered a new kind of bad karma that is so bad that I am going to call it "worst possible karma." WPK is a punishing experience doled out by an omniscient, impersonal, maleficent force right after something really good happens in your life.

For example, on December 12, 2002, I attended a basketball game at my old high school. Our opponent was Williamsport, a team that almost always beat us when I was a student back in the 70s. Williamsport had beat State College every time in their previous 16 meetings, and were favored to beat us again. In one of the most exciting games I ever watched, State College defeated its old rival. I went home ecstatic.

When I got home I had a message on my answering machine. Upon returning the call I learned that my mother had just died. Worst possible karma.

Something happened this past week that was much, much worse than this. I was having a very good, productive Sunday, culminating in hanging a new door in our home office. That night we got a phone call with the most horrible news I have ever received in my life, so bad that I simply cannot write about it publicly. The shock put me in the hospital on Tuesday. I'm just trying to hang on now.

I've only got two words to say to two entities.
Fuck you, deliverer of WPK, whatever you are.
And fuck you, benevolent God, for not existing to intervene in this tragedy.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 3rd, 2006 04:29 pm (UTC)
If there was something that could be said to make it all better someone would say it. In my darkest hours I can look back at a few times when I stood up to the WPK monster a few times and just stared him down. I'm still here and have all of my digits, limbs and both eyes attached.

What defines a warrior is not the battles he has won -but those he has lost and lived to tell about.

I have not lost a parent yet, but have seen many loved-ones die or suffer horribly so far in my life. Life is sufering I think. We tend to find it around every corner.

Flip off the WPK beast as he flays you. Tell him to get bent and that you are better than him. Just hang on.
Feb. 6th, 2006 05:07 am (UTC)
I hear you, man. Eight years ago, on July 18th I received some nasty news. I recall thinking, "There isn't any way a God could allow this to happen". Yet, it did. I continue to live with the effects of this news every day. Some days are better while others are worse. unfortunately, there are more worse days than better days. During the first few weeks after hearing the news, I felt like I couldn't go on. As the weeks, months and years have passed, I have learned to deal with it as best as I can. Several days per week, I still think...FUCK! Fuck you, fuck it and fuck me! I wonder what it was that I did that brought on this Karma ass kicking. Whatever it was that I did most have been pretty bad. I also think, "Why not punish me?" Why do others have to suffer? How could anything good come of this? I just try to make the best of it and move on. Most folks would look at my situation and think that I haven't dealt with it very well but, I am still here and I'm still alive. I live on because I feel the need to. I feel that I have to live on to help my family and most of all, if I were to end it all (which I have thought about doing), I'm pretty sure that the Karma monster would really fry me and those around me would be burnt in the process.
Knowing the details of your situation, I feel for you. You situation is wicked at best. I know that you have been through a lot and there is still a lot to come. Hang in there. The days, weeks, months and years will continue to go by and you will be able to use the tools and abilities that you have, to deal with your situation. You will make it through this. Realistically, things will probably continue to suck but, we have no control over some things. The situation that you are in, you really don't have much control over. I hope that you are able to put to use the many things that you have taught me over the years. I believe that you have a great gift to share with others (as you have for years). I don't know how to explain the gift in words but, whatever it is...you have it! Don't give up yet and hang in there! Be there for those around you and more importantly, be there for yourself! ***Sorry that I don't have more positive words to share***.
Feb. 6th, 2006 06:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Karma
Well...I think that I am a little more in tune with your original posting. I felt like I was doing something good by responding like I did. Within 60 minutes of my posting, my youngest son awoke from a deep sleep and puked! Of course it isn't a plesant situation when any child vomits. Given the fact that my son had enough Lantus injected in him earlier in the evening to last 24 hours (based on carb intake), it opened up a whole mess. I guess that the only way to avoid this sort of Karma that you mentioned is to stop doing, "good" or nice things and to stop having positive experiences! *smile*
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )